My gorgeous family labrador dog went to sleep on Sunday and it has really affected me.
Since this blog is also about my life I thought I'd do a wee blog about our Ben!
Ben came to my family at about 1 year old my sister and mum picked him up and fell in love with him from first sight. Although they tell me he did smell the car out on the way home. Ben slotted in to our family like he had always been there.
Ben was a funny wee boy when he first moved in he would break in to the fridge and steal the butter! Not the meat or anything else just the butter.
If he ever passed wind he would leave the room with embarrassment,
He loved a cup of tea at night before he would go to bed and then off to the kitchen to bed he went.
Ben loved snow diving ( this is when there is a snow drift and he would dive in it till all you could see was a black tail in the snow.
Ben lived to swim and thankful he had been give some tablet a few months ago as his joints were bad and this let him get back in the water.
My mum was very ill for a while and Ben was with her in the same way he was with me.
Now don't get me wrong Ben had a naughty side like all dogs but he was always funny with it.
Me and Ben
Now I loved Ben more than I love most people. Ben May to you reading this be a dog but to us he was a brother.
Ben helped me in so many ways, now I know you are thinking how can a dog help you but he was a very special dog.
I went through some really bad times when I was younger and when I lost my childhood dog beegie when he was about 16 he was my companion and to be honest my best friend ( he knew all my secrets) I thought no one could replace my dog filled gap. But along came this big lump of a dog and he didn't Fill the gap he made his own space in my heart. 
Ben has been a part of my world for a long time now he was only 11 when he past away and I honestly feel robbed of him.
Ben was there when no one else could help me. I went though a very mess break up. And if I'm honest
The emotional abuse I suffered in the relationship changed me forever and I broke down so my mum took me home! I would lie in bed with Ben beside me protecting me and just being there to comfort me. Like a big teddy to cry to. I couldn't sleep eat or funtion if I'm honest and he didn't leave my side for 4 weeks. Then it was baby steps for me and Ben was right there taking Ben a walk was a massive step for me getting out the house was huge.
Ben was a friendly dog and to be honest it was hard not to love him, we had people who hated dog tell us they loved Ben.
Next was glandular fever yip two months of hell again Ben stated with me when I couldn't eat sleep of move to be honest. Whilst my mum did all the mothering Ben did the cuddling and protecting. To be honest I remember being in a haze caused by my high temperature and Ben licking my hand as if to say your ok.
At Christmas it was my tradition to bring Ben a big candy cane bone he would hit everyone on the knees with it but he was so happy and ! He would eat it until his gums bleed and we had to hide it.
We had a old collie come stay with us and Ben was his carer unfortunately the collie the wonderful and very intelligent zorro had a stroke and Ben would go with him out in the garden to help and make sure he wouldn't fall over and would make sure the light stayed on at night for him. Zorro didn't like the dark.
We as a family all have our Ben memory's.
In typical Ben style he had not been well and was not eating but didn't want to bother anyone and didn't make any fuss. The vet says he either had a stroke or heart attack and he wait round enough to say goodbye to mum. The blessing for us Ben never had any prolonged pain. Typical Ben he even passed away in such a dignified manner.
I was home a few weeks ago and we took Ben and stewie ( mums basset hound) and ourr Millie for a swim. So my last day with Ben is filled with the best memory's of him and Millie swimming with a seal. And may fiancé freaking out that the seal was going to eat them and Ben ignoring him as if to say stop been silly this seal lives here, I swim here all the time.
One thing I do love is that Millie (me and my fiancé dog) got to meet Ben a did have the lasting memory of them together. It's been hard the last few days as Millie looks like a mini Ben and I can't seem to accept he is gone. I guess I won't until I go home next and he isn't there.
You will forever be in my heart and remembered forever. I'll see you on the bridge.
Have you lost a pet how did it affect you? How did you keep going?
MissLJBeauty
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